Time, then Me
I like building frameworks. Frameworks for solving problems.
What is my wisdom framework? If I "start with time", what is the next step in my framework?
I think it is Me. Me in the context of Time.
It would be very sensible to ask, "what do other people say about this problem?" There are thousands of years of thoughts about wisdom. Thousands of years of tradition. And consulting what the wise people say about wisdom would be a sensible thing. But, part of my constraints is time. I have an hour a week perhaps to work through, that is "write through" an aspect of wisdom. How would I systematically consult with thousands of years of thoughts about wisdom in a way that changes my degree of wisdom? Perhaps "what do I think about this problem? (in the next hour)" is really the second step in the framework. Though I am thinking about wisdom, the real underlying question is how to make myself wise. Not, "what is wisdom?", but how 'How do I become wise?" What can I work on now that will make me incrementally wiser right now? If I have an hour a week to think about wisdom, what can I do in that hour?
I have been thinking and reflecting on wisdom in my sporadic journaling for several years now. But I have 42 years of life, 42 years of absorbing from the world around me. This current focus on wisdom didn't arise spontaneously four years ago when I first wrote it down in a journal. It arises from my story. In the telling of my story, I will of course oversimplify and over emphasise the causative effect of certain elements of my history. But, it's a start. I was a kid who lived in my own thoughts. A distinct memory of my thinking from childhood was wondering how I could be sure that other people existed. The only thing I felt I could be sure of was that I was real. Pretty bleak thinking for a 9-year-old. I also had a particular nightmare of sorts. I remember lying in bed, looking at the far corner of the ceiling of my room, and then the sense of 3 dimensions would leave me and the corner would appear as close as my face. Depth perception would suddenly go, and the world would be flat, and spinning without up or down. A childhood fear of losing perception of the world, combined with feeling I could only be sure of one person's existence seems to be a direct line to the thoughtful reflection and a questioning aspect to my life in general. There is even more to throw into the recipe: a Pentecostal religious upbringing, starting a university major in philosophy, lay preaching in a youth group, a religious deconversion experience, a career that deals with high stakes decision making, death and complications, a recognised bias toward perfectionism, deeply inconsistent behaviours, a tendency to listen to long biographical interviews instead of the radio, a ruminating and anxious mind, and a simmering broth of influences appears. How I think about the wisdom problem now at my age, as a collection of impressions from all these elements probably means I have a reasonable starting point in asking myself what I think about the problem.
Maybe I can take a punt and start with cautious trust in my own thinking about a problem. Writing it down is one part of the process. Write through the problem myself. It will then simmer on my mind and be tested and allowed time for insights to appear. It should be revisited and worked through again in writing. That iterative process will make the problem clearer and clearer, I hope. I might muddy the water by stirring and stirring and stirring of course. Investing time in a problem does not entitle me to a solution. Nevertheless, instead of trying to write the definitive solution to a problem, I'm only writing the first draft of my thinking, then the second draft, then the third draft. Apply Time this problem: in the future how I think about a problem is likely to change, and time will give me opportunities for feedback and to test my thinking. I have to see my own efforts to understand a problem in the context of time itself. My thinking will be tested and will change. It is an iterative process.
I only have so much time. So, in an hour, what do I think about this problem? Practically: Meditate. Start the clock. Reread. Write. Review. Write. Review. Publish. Stop the clock.
Me in the context of time. "What do I think? I have an hour."
