Free Will, Pizza and Beer
The driving question that underlies the wisdom problem, is "Why do I make bad decisions? How do I make good ones?". Underpinning this is the assumption that I can make choices, that I have free will. But the wisdom problem itself demonstrates that my will is not free. The tension reflected in the problem, that there is a difficulty to making good decisions, hints that perhaps our will is not free. Thinking of myself as a rational being who simply wants his own happiness and fulfillment, why would I make choices that do not make me happy and fulfilled if I have a will that is free? Am I truly free to decide?
Start with Time
Time answers part of the question. What will make me happy in the long run does not always match with what will make me happy in the right now. Beer and pizza make me happy now, but do not make me as happy in the long run as being shredded and lean. Perhaps, the freedom of my will is limited by the present vs the future effects of choices. The effects of a choice can be different when considering the time frame of effect and weighing this up takes time and effort. There is also seems to be a driving bias toward the immediate effect, rather than the long-term consideration. Perhaps the tension in free will is often between an immediately gratifying choice and its long-term consequences, happiness and pain in the same decision but experienced on different time frames, and I lack the presence of mind to make the decision carefully. If something makes me happy right now, then I must be freely choosing it? But if I know I will regret the decision, later, then is the choice truly freely made?
A specific common example
Thinking about the beer and pizza scenario closely, slowing down the steps of that decision starts to clarify how free will works in specifics. The beer and pizza does not actually make me happy after I've eaten it. I feel bloated and low energy, not happy. What is happening is a craving that makes me thirsty for beer, and hungry for pizza. Once I've drunk the first mouthful of beer, and once I've had the first bite of pizza, the craving is gone. That's the dynamic that drives this decision: a craving, followed by the immediate satisfaction of that craving. But then I continue to drink the beer and eat the pizza. Continuing to drink the beer and eat the pizza is driven by a pursuit of satisfaction that is illusory. The craving is satisfied, but happiness is not achieved. It is the craving that is the driver of the decision, especially as it starts the action. It is not necessarily the desire for happiness. After the pizza and beer, I think about how much better I would feel if I had drunk sparkling water and eaten vegetables. Once the craving is over, and the pursuit of an illusory satisfaction lifts, I then regretfully contemplate my unwise "decision". This is a common example, and raises the question, why do I still eat pizza and drink beer if it is not a wise choice?
I vs my mind
In my most aware state, I can see that the craving for pizza and beer arises seemingly spontaneously in my awareness. I, the aware consciousness, have a craving that is presented to me from somewhere else within me. I do not freely choose the craving. It appears. It arises. My mind presents it to my awareness. The thoughts of my mind are not my own to choose. The thoughts about pizza and beer are not freely chosen by my awareness, but instead are selected by my mind, below any level of choice or awareness.
Consider the converse
When I do not eat pizza and drink the beer, it is because my mind is instead presented with a different set of thoughts. I, the awareness, am instead focussed on the feeling of the clarity from staying dry, alcohol free, and the feeling of health from eating clean. Drinking sparking water and eating vegetables will make me feel cleaner. My mind is focussed on those feelings. When I say I focussed, it can be natively arising, like a craving, or it can be through a process of self-talk and discussion in which an internal conversation occurs. An internal conversation is like two competing thoughts are presented to my awareness: eat clean vs eat pizza. Somehow one leans on the other, and one becomes the action. Thinking closely, I notice that one thought feels different to the other thought, though. The desire for pizza and beer can feel like something my body wants. It more closely matches a "craving". Whereas, eating clean is sometimes more something my rational self wants, and has less immediate satisfaction. It is not a craving, but a rational desire. The difference between them is the degree to which they influence my behaviour. A craving drives me greater toward the pizza and beer than the rational desire drives me toward sparkling water and vegetables. Not all thoughts carry the same degree of influence on behaviour. Some thoughts are weak. Some are irresistible. The times when I've eaten clean and stayed dry, those thoughts have been stronger than the eat pizza and drink beer thoughts. But why does this variation in strength of thoughts occur?
I have had long phases of eating clean and staying dry, months at a time. During these phases, the balance of thoughts in my mind is tipped the other way. Eating clean, and not drinking alcohol is the dominant thought, and new patterns of behaviour result. Despite being a pattern of behaviour I want, these phases do not feel like I'm exerting free will. Also, if I "try" to reinstate this behaviour, I cannot sustain it for more sometimes more than a few hours. It is not a simple free choice. Instead, it feels like there is the perfect combination of influences that coalesce into good patterns of thinking and behaviour. It is a pattern I want, of my free will, but the exertion of free will is not the fundamental driver, not is a result of a single decision. It is in the accumulation of multiple small influences on my mind resulting in my mind presenting a different set of thoughts to my awareness, resulting in different actions.
Multiple Small Influences
Perhaps what we perceive to be free will: the choice between options, is in fact an accumulation of small "decisions", they themselves influenced by internal and outside forces. To continue using the beer and pizza example, if I want to make a different decision, that is, if I want to exert my free will, I have to use lots of small influences on my mind, so that my mind then presents my awareness with the desire to drink water and eat vegetables. It is not a single decision, but instead the result of multiple external and internal influences.
This approach to free will gives me more tools to use. Thinking of my mind as autonomous to my awareness, but susceptible to influence, means there are tools I can use. The exertion of free will comes in lots of small actions that result in good actions. It is a feedback loop. My mind presents to my awareness that I want to be thinking a certain way, and then actions result, further influencing my mind in addition to outside influences, which then presents thoughts back to my awareness. The perception of free will is in the awareness that there are conflicts and tensions between thoughts and actions that need to be resolved, but the action of free will is to place influences on my mind. Understanding this feedback loop, and the slow accretion of cycles toward an outcome explains free will better to me than the concept that we stand as a single unified consciousness that rationally makes decisions.
What are the influences on my mind? What is the source and structure of the thoughts my mind presents to my awareness? Thinking of my mind as a physical organ, not an ethereal consciousness gives me a framework that feels more consistent with the beer and pizza problem. Understanding that my mind is translating the physical needs of my body into thoughts that drive actions seems to ring true. My body needs food, water, comfort, physical intimacy, and social supports. My mind is motivated by these things, and so presents thoughts to my awareness in an effort to meet these physical needs. The needs of the body right now drive my thoughts toward the immediate future, biasing action toward immediate effects. Understanding the mind as part of the body, as the communication between my awareness and my body's unmet needs means exerting free will can start with understanding what my body needs. My mind will present different thoughts to me, the awareness, depending on the physical state of my mind, and of my body, and to what need is most pressing to meet.
Free Will, Pizza and Beer.
How do I then exert free will? I must know what my body's current needs are, both the simple such as food and water, and the complex, like social support. Pay attention to what need is the underlying driver of thoughts and see how the specific drive is linked to an actions. Repeatedly meet my body's needs in a way that matches what my free will wants. A confluence of happy effects. Both the body and the will's needs are met. Repeat this cycle, to create positive feedback loops that reinforce good actions. Knowing my mind is physical, and my body is one of its primary inputs, use my body to influence the mind. This explains why journaling, reading, photos, and discussions about what I want influences my actions. Using my body's physical inputs through its senses influences the mind. Brain, hands, mouth, eyes, ears, and body acting together to drive the feedback loop deeper and deeper down a certain path. Talk about it, write about it, do good things, and the feedback loop reinforces, resulting in exertion of my free will, slowly over time. Wiser decisions should result.
